So I have finally came to a point in life where looking at the position in the family has come full circle, front and center. My Biological Brother died last week. Biological through my Dad. I am a product of a second marriage. The First marriage, my Dad produced three sons. Two were adopted out to family (Uncle and Aunt) to be raised in those families. To keep "things" simple, they told their children and the children's children, that I was a cousin. Some caught on, others were happy being cousins. In 1996 one of the Brothers, who my Dad raised til maturity, shot himself. Nobody knew why, but that's the way it was. Maybe it had something to do with losing everything. The Brother adopted by my Aunt, was raised on the Farm, went in the Navy, and married the orneriest women on planet earth. Aside from that, he was an oral surgeon at the VA Hospital in Arizona, and died in 2012 with another last name, "Carlson". He also had 2 children, one of which knew about me, and we have since connected.
Well, Brother number three, who I have lived closest to, passed last week. I felt very included in the services, and the family is very understanding of my position. It was awkward having the adopted family and bio family together, but we are all family, with no judgments. All friends, and I would say not a bad bone in anyone as far as family goes. When Dad died 26 years ago, the boys acknowledged it, but stayed distant, and I took care of everything. I had no issues, and all was and is fine.
I don't know why it bothers me, but there are pieces of the puzzle I don't know, and maybe its for the better.
All that knowledge is now dead and memories have ceased. I am the last son alive. I have one daughter, she still uses her maiden name, even though she is married. I think it's due mainly to me and sleepless nights about our LeVeque line ending with her. I know she will have sleepless nights without children, I just hope she can have offspring that will bring her joy, and that she can raise a "normal" family, not one struggling to be successful.
Isn't that all we really want for our family, is to be a little better and a bit more successful that we were ?
So here I stand, have did a lot, seen a lot, have tried to do the best I knew how to do. It's in my creator's hands to finish the story, I will only be an actor in it for a little while longer before its time for a scene change..........
