I look back at the early years, wow. No cellphones, listened to a record player, 8 track tapes, the car had a stick shift, we burned wood for heat, I worked three jobs to earn 4k a year. The baby came, we used cloth diapers, brought her to the UP state fair at 2 weeks old. We both burned up the roads going to college, yet the kid had ballet lessons, singing lessons, band camp, Jobs'. I got active in Masons, you became active in the community, 4-H leader, Girl Scout Area Manager, me on the Fair Board, You went from becoming Bill's wife, to me becoming Angela's husband. Life has never really been fair to you, and I know you hide a lot of whats really going on. I get angry at Lupus, and sometimes it comes out when it shouldn't. I get upset with Heavenly Father that he has not been more kind to you. You can rarely hear me when I talk to you, it frustrates me, I feel like your living alone because you can't hear me, and then there's my choice to be gone all the time with the Fraternity. You became a Masonic Widow early on in our marriage. You never complain. I've tried to always do what was right, even when it went wrong, and you love me despite my shortcomings. I could never have asked for more devotion, nor have you ever wavered in caring for your husband. For you it's been a thankless 33 years, listening to the door slam as I either show up or leave on another trip downstate. I see you with the screen door partially open as I pull out, I'm sure your wondering if I'll make it back in one piece, I don't look because I don't want to see the tear. You are smart, educated, terrible with computers, and can't program a GPS, make a computer work or replace a battery. I keep complaining that you have to learn to do these things for yourself if I die, and at the same time praying that I will never let that happen. Conversely, if I had to cook, I would starve, if I had to do the dishes, chinet would get all my savings, if I had to take care of the family finances, the IRS would chain my door.
We have had the wooden console TV for 30 years !! It's a Montgomery Wards. I think I heard you laugh when it went out 6 months ago, yet you let it stay in the house with the flat screen on top of it, just to humor me. You learned morse code and got your ham radio license, In return I promised you I would learn to fish. I failed. I'm sorry. I dragged you to the Upper Peninsula to live. I'm sorry. You hate it there. As I type this I hear your subdued breaths of sleep, in the place we will more than likely spend our final days. I shoulda, woulda, coulda, and never did. I worry about you all the time, even if its just a trip to the store. It's been an adventure I would do all over again. I would never be the man I am today, without you. Thank you for taking care of me........ and the Grand Master appreciates it too.
Happy 33rd Anniversary Angela..........................
